Report: 4th GASI Summer School in Ljubljana – Personal Reflections on “Between Generations”

When I landed at the airport of Ljubljana on Wednesday, July 18th 2018, after missing my connecting flight in Frankfurt and feeling relieved that my suitcase wasn’t lost, it already felt like an adventure. After checking in to my cosy, family owned hotel close to the Summer School venue I very much enjoyed my individual and sunny city tour exploring picturesque downtown, taking photos and having lunch next to the beautiful river Ljubljanica. Within a few hours I could truly relax with moments of a summer vacation.

Close to four o’clock, my joyful anticipation and little nervousness was growing: Who is going to be at the Summer School? Some people I know and many people I will hopefully get to know? Who is going to be in my small group?

As a GASi student member I’m part of the GASi forum, the google group and email list that connects every GASi member who is interested and that creates a virtual space for exchange. Prior to the Summer School, maybe two weeks before its beginning, there was a sad message announcing the sudden loss of a well-respected group analyst. Vlasta Meden Klavora was a vital part of the Slovenian group analytic community and she also played a crucial role in organizing the Ljubljana Summer School. Although I didn’t know her, I could sense the tremendous loss and the wave of grief that had hit the hosts of the Summer School. I was sure that it would be important to deal with her death and I was wondering how it would affect the Summer School. So, the symphony “Between Generations” formed a first melody in my ears, slow and very sad chords in minor.

Facing transience, illness and loss is more likely for older generations. As I’m part of the younger generation in group analytic terms – I’m 35 years old – one could say I’m still far away from aging and being confronted with the fragility of life. But I can imagine huge challenges and I’m always eager to learn from the more experienced. In my small group in the GASi Symposium in Berlin 2017 someone envied my youth. I could be jealous of the amount of experience and expertise. However, I appreciated the openness and I got a glimpse of the great variety of emotions that can arise and can be explored between generations.

In Ljubljana, the opening or the first and very unconventional lecture of the Summer School was a 45-minute conversation between an older and a younger man: David Glyn and Vid Vodušek. As I’m part of Vid’s peer group I was highly identified with his position sitting across from the GASi president. Both men were authentically and personally trying to make sense of the situation. They talked about whether generations are matrices of their own, about authority and power, gratitude and fear, about tradition, innovation and their counterplay. I might have been projecting but I felt Vid being under pressure trying to keep up, trying to do it “the proper group analytic way”, trying to impress. David on the other hand seemed relaxed and in a more comfortable position, less stressed and more playful. Perhaps, that is the privilege of being the older one. If that is the case, l’m looking forward to getting there. Vid did perform very well, and I was proud of one of my generation. One of his sentences I very much liked and which I won’t forget was, “good authority enables to be creative and doesn’t ask to follow”.

At the end of the first lecture there was chair switching: one participant wanted to sit in Vid’s chair and talk to David. Was Vid relieved or did he feel pushed away? Vid later even sat in David’s chair when someone in the audience wanted to speak with him. The younger man in the older man’s chair or trying his shoes seeing how they fit. I liked the changing setting a lot. It became more playful and open. I could also sense the urge of many people in the room to speak. That was a great and joyful upbeat of the Summer School symphony leading to the first discussion group where we talked about the different generations: who lectures whom, who wants to get inspired by whom, who puts pressure on whom? I think the combination of lecture and discussion group makes a lot of sense. It enables to process what’s being said on a much deeper level and to connect it with emotions and personal experiences from various perspectives. And we all know that emotions help us learn and remember.

The first large group on the first day was a unique experience. Fellow colleagues were noticing the posters in the big class room we were all sitting in – the venue was a high school. On the posters, war scenes and weapons of World War I were displayed. At first, I had the impression that war was outside and we were peacefully gathered. That was about to change soon. As group analysts we are usually good observers, so one participant saw a swastika in the ladies’ room. For me, as a German, mentioning swastikas or Nazis evokes shame and guilt feelings. One of the hosts was a teacher in the school we were sitting in and she expressed her concern. So maybe she felt ashamed or even responsible for one of her students, for the new generation. Actually, we all are responsible for passing on experience, for teaching relevant history lessons, for being aware, for making well-informed decisions. Later something else happened: almost casually one of the younger participants mentioned “the N word”, obviously unaware of the consequences. One group analyst in the room had an African migratory background and she was clearly hurt. But she also had the strength to express her pain and her anger. So, the peaceful gathering changed and became a fighting arena in my perception. The colleague who said “the N word” was attacked, too, when others were defending the colleague with her migratory background. As I was sitting relatively close to the young group analyst, I felt the need to protect her or even to make her stop talking. At some point it was escalating, the atmosphere got so tense that it seemed difficult to think and to truly listen to each other. Was there a connection between the young student drawing a swastika and the young group analyst using an aggressive word in a large group setting?

On the one hand, I was astonished of how fast a first large group session can get so intense and also a little shocked at how aggressive it can be. On the other hand, I thought racism and aggression are important topics we all need to talk about and I was also amazed since the Summer School setting seemed to be a safe enough space to share strong emotions and to start a highly relevant dialogue. I guess the Welcome Reception afterwards was needed to cool down and to informally digest the large group session through personal conversations. Each small group session on the following four mornings also helped to metabolize and make sense of what had happened in the first large group.

I would like to highlight the third lecture where Michael Tait, group analyst and psychodrama therapist from London, presented a difficult case of a very aggressive young boy who was in the child care system for many years. Several scenes were played by Summer School participants and it was very exciting to watch them develop an emotional story line: A team of social workers and others were facing a huge therapeutic challenge trying to get in touch with that boy showing highly destructive behaviour. As the title of the lecture suggested it was about “destruction”, but also “survival and creativity”. The team stayed with the boy, showed him boundaries and did not give up on building bridges over troubled waters although they were tested to their limits. I do remember the last scene vividly where the boy was talking to his mother in the presence of one team member. He was finally finding his voice and told her how he felt, what he needed and that he loved her very much. I guess I wasn’t the only one holding my breath and noticing that my eyes got filled with tears.

At the end of that wonderful lecture we all got two pages with quotes of Foulkes, Winnicott and others. The fire work of scenes was happening so fast that I had the wish to slow everything down, push a pause or even a rewind button to think more and see it all again. We should have recorded the whole play. But because of the high pacing I was very glad to have the quotes I could take home. They would help me understand what I had just experienced – maybe I felt a little like the team of social workers looking for meaning together with their supervisor Mike.

A child wants to test its environment: does it stand the strain? So, what is “hopeful destruction”? It is trying to make sense of something that is already destroyed internally, it is the “search for meaning and repair” as the title of the quotation pages suggested. That struggling boy had the strong need to punish everybody around him because of his inner punitive dialogue and inner fight. The boy so desperately wanted to find an environment and people he could rely on. By not giving up and not retaliating the team proved to him they have the capacity to survive his destruction, so he started to see them outside of his omnipotent control, he started to value them, started to see the others with their own autonomy and life, started to become able to love.

After soft chords full of harmony, the third large group offered interesting tensions and crescendi. The two female large group conveners, Vladislava Stamos and Tija Despotović, got attention. They were very silent, and one was surrounded by empty chairs so that one group member felt the urge to change seats in order to sit next to her, to support her. At some point they spoke about their grief and pain regarding the death of her beloved colleague and the challenge to contain those feelings in order to provide a fruitful environment for communication and growth for all of us. The following large group dialogue addressed the question of two mothers in the group, how unusual that might be and soon we talked about traditions and conventions in society. I spoke about a rumour in Hollywood: it is possible that in the sequel of the aminated musical and fantasy film “Frozen” (2013) – coming out in 2019 – princess Elsa might not have a prince charming by her side but a girl. Elsa would then be the first lesbian protagonist in a Disney movie. In a conversation with my mother, a conversation between generations, I was surprised by her irritation and rejection of the mere idea since I liked the vision of two princesses very much. The well-known and award-winning song “Let it go” could easily have a different meaning, or let’s say additional meaning:

“… A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I’m the queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I’ve tried
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care what they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway…”
(written and composed by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, 2013)

Is a movie with a lesbian couple innovative or scary? Do young kids get the wrong idea? In my perception, participants in the large group were relating to my mother’s point of view but also mine. So, war, racism and aggression were not the only difficult subjects we needed to talk about, trying to reach a level of mutual understanding. What emotions were we about to discover in the hearts of the citizens in the ice queen’s realm? Homophobia, shame, anger, pain, guilt? But everybody needed a break first. There was the City Tour and the Gala Dinner coming up on Friday night.

On the way to the party up the hill, there was an open-air photo exhibition. Our group work was intense and at that moment I truly appreciated the outside world, the fresh air and moving my body. I very much enjoyed the dinner, the informal conversations and dancing at the beautiful venue in Tivoli park (the smaller house on the right in the picture).

Maybe we should all dance more. Language and words are important, of course, but sometimes I have the impression that psychoanalysts and group analysts forget that they have a body. Why is that? Sitting is the new smoking, right? So, my wish for future GASi events would be to take into account that the human body wants to move. At least my body needs that – has the older generation lost an awareness of their bodies?

In my supervision group on Saturday I had the chance to get to know the “Greek Model”, a structured approach focusing on emotions, fantasies and topics that arise in the group while listening to the case presentation. We had a productive discussion with a great variety of feelings, images, concerns and questions. One day, I would love to implement the Greek style of supervision in my psychoanalytic or group analytic institute in Berlin.

After getting to know each other more over three days, a group of peers formed on Saturday evening. We were about the same age but from different countries: Albania, Slovenia, Serbia and Germany. It was nice to be among people of my generation. Later I heard that others were doing the same on Saturday night, gathering with their own generation. Maybe we needed some downtime to relax a little and maybe it is easier to relate to others of the same generation? On Thursday, Barbara Čibej Žagar explained in the second lecture “Gaps and bridges between generations”: Belonging to the same generation and sharing the same generation identity opens a common ground for better social understanding and maybe even more empathy. And bridging gaps between generations can be exhausting sometimes.

So. my little group and I walked up to the fortress, watched the thunder storm and lightning over the panorama city view and later had dinner.

Our local guide Vid then showed us the museum district by night and an exciting area called Alternative Cultural Center Metelkova. It used to house and train soldiers of the old Yugoslavia, when it was deserted, squatted and later re-invented as ACC, a place for non-institutional artistic, cultural and political endeavors, but also a place for alternative partying. I was curious and felt hopeful there. And with a Serbian rakija the warm summer night ended at the river Ljubljanica.

On my way to the last small group on Sunday morning, I helped to carry a backpack up the stairs. The younger generation was giving the older generation a hand – like on the Summer School flyer – providing support and strength. Later the colleague and friend thanked me for carrying the luggage and just doing it while also admitting that it wasn’t possible for him to ask for help. That personal encounter seemed very meaningful to me and added something to the symphony: two very different instruments – different age, different nationality – meeting at a mutual rhythm and playing the same melody in synchrony for one special moment.

The fourth and last large group on Sunday started where we left off. A lesbian Disney star would send the wrong message and when a girl gets treated like a princess from her father, she should be straight and not homosexual. That statement was brave and important and provoked lots of controversy. I remember following the large group dialogue but don’t seem to recall resolving this issue. Talking to a colleague and good friend I realized, there was relief in the room and some resolution, maybe even reconciliation to “the N word” related dynamics in the large group. The anger floated away, but pain and sadness were still present. The group might have sensed that there was something that couldn’t be repaired. For me, we started trying to understand each other better and of course, the search for meaning has to continue.

A dream that I had in mid-September 2018, exactly one month later, relates to the point that I’m trying to make. In my dream, I was in a GASi group setting with 30 or 40 people of different ages and nationalities. We were talking about politics, East and West, war and other difficult subjects. Suddenly the dialogue faltered, and mutual understanding became impossible. People were standing up and leaving the group. I was shocked and irritated. If we aren’t able to talk to each other, what is going to happen to the world?

I later learned that the Summer School is still a young child, born 2013 in Belgrade, developed in Prague (2015) and gaining experience in Athens (2016). The “Summer School community” is growing and always inviting new members to join as Marina Mojović put it in an email on the GASi Forum on July 22nd, 2018. So even if there are still some knots unresolved, others are gone and I think we all enjoyed the adventure, the symphony we played together. When I went to the ladies’ room on that last day, a colleague and I discovered that the swastika had become a window. So maybe violence, hate and aggression can be transformed in a creative way in the same way that wounds can heal. I would very much like to see through that window and discover communication, art and dialogue.

After the last large group and closing ceremony I realized that there were many people I hadn’t spoken with. Of course, the time together is limited and the different group settings – lectures, discussion, large, small and supervision groups – allow very different intensity of getting to know each other. That was when Mike Tait told me about the Shadow Workshop with a slightly different setting: without small groups it is possible to stay together more and to share more of the same group experience. I have never participated in one of the so-called Shadow Workshops before but I got very curious and I will attend the one at the end of October 2018 in Herrsching close to Munich, Germany.

The Ljubljana Summer School is now one of my memories like a book in my inner library. On the picture you see a beautiful drawing that I discovered on a hallway wall of the very same Slovenian high school.

During the farewell I had an interesting encounter with one of the Greek colleagues: George Gioukakis was wearing a T-shirt that said, “eat more feta to reduce Greek debt”. I thought it was really funny and wanted to take a picture of it. I approached him asking him if it was alright to take a photo. Being a little insecure and having the political implications on my mind I added, “is it okay because I’m German?” He laughed out loud and replied, “of course, this T-shirt was made for you Germans!” So we were both laughing and enjoying the end of the Summer School. It’s important to end on a high note, isn’t it? Cheers!

Maria Puschbeck-Raetzell, Berlin, October 25th, 2018
maria_puschbeck@yahoo.de