Report: Fireflies at Rijeka

The theme of the summer school, Tolerating Diversities created in me many opposing feelings that I subsequently saw reflected in the discussions in the large group and small groups held at the Summer School. I think through the 5 days, I went from feeling angry at being tolerated to being aware of how I have my own stereotypes and biases that I need to tolerate in myself.

I think as a person, I have never really given much thought to my ‘Indianness’ which I found myself reflecting on quite a bit during my time there. As much as there was a sense of needing to represent my country, there was also a need to express myself devoid of it. In the 5 days, I found myself moving between these 2 positions and wanting to create a bridge between the 2 extreme positions by clarifying and expressing how I differ and how I am similar to any Indian. The narratives that have most played out in my life – gender differences, being in the background, untouchability, authority and the need for a clear and distinct voice came through most of the groups I was a part of and made me realise internally how connected I am to everyone around regardless of my opinion/preference regarding the same.

The feel of the rain that drenched us all and the sound of the wine glasses shattering during the Gala Dinner, the long winding pathways of the city, the large group room, the laughter, the smell of the coffee and the people, all come to my mind when I think of Summer School. I have been putting away writing about it because the experience has affected me in a very pre-verbal way, where there is no cognition and where words fall short to describe the experience. It’s like the feeling you have when you look at fireflies trapped in a glass jar – wonder at the magic of it and wanting to hold onto that image for a minute longer just so it doesn’t feel like a figment of your imagination.

Reshmi Sahadevan
reshmi@hanknunninstitute.org