Community Choir: My experience with a group of exiles in Montreal
Based on the method of ethnography, this article aims to understand the experience of a group of Colombians – and friends of Colombians – living in Montreal who, by actively participating in the creation of their own Choir, developed a sense of belonging and community as a means of supporting the practice of listening to the testimonies of Colombians exiled in the province of Quebec. The article describes the process of singing as a group as a free and immediate form of emotional self-expression that develops an individual and collective significance. Singing as a group generated a way of engaging in dialogue beyond words. Findings suggest some clues of what might become the basis of a socially constructed method that could optimize listening practices in contexts of the reconstruction of historical memory.
Key words: Colombians in Exile in Montreal, Community choir, Ethnographic method, The Truth Commission, Singing as a group, Practices of listening.
Opening vignette
That day, we introduced a new type of performance to the choir – the open mic. It consisted in walking freely around the room singing Mi País (My Country), the song we identified the most with, and that had become a ‘hymn’ for us. Then, members of the audience were invited to sing with us, and to physically approach the open mic and spontaneously express their ideas, feelings or messages that arose from the enveloping atmosphere of this meeting. It was December 10, 2019, and we were also singing Christmas carols; we celebrated the end of the year with our invited friends and members of the choir. Of course, we had agreed to lower the volume of our singing so we could carefully listen to the shining voices of the open mic volunteers, who expressed a mixture of nostalgia and liberation through their words.
It was precisely in this atmosphere of collective bonding that I discovered in myself a wish to share the admiration I felt for my dear friend, colleague, and companion from the choir, Catherine. It was at that instant when, just like in a movie, I could remember or see images of the moments some years ago when I felt ready or able to start on the road of exploring my own identity as a Colombian, and she was there once more. Then I said, into the open mic:
I want to celebrate with you the many years of friendship with Catherine. From her I have learned to accept that I come from a complex country, from a violent country, from an unequal country, which, in a certain way, prevented me from living close to my family. I was inspired by the passion of this North American Colombian historian, and it has allowed me to explore my country in a different way. I humbly understood that the task of “clarification of the truth” in Colombia” happens through the search for my own truth, the one that belongs to me, that I carry within me; it is only like this that I can commit to listen to the testimonies of people exiled by the Armed Conflict and who want to break their silence today.
Introduction
The period of confinement caused by Covid-19 since March 2020, revealed in me a certain nostalgia due to the absence of the collective bond we used to share every Tuesday, during choir rehearsals, in the Acts of Listening Lab of the University of Concordia[1]. This mood between nostalgia and gratitude is the meaning that participating in the Coro A la Escucha (Choir that listens) gave me. I will try to describe the process through which a group of 19 people was able to bring to life that idea of Pilar, the choir director, and Luis, the director of the Acts of Listening Lab, to create a choir. By singing Colombian songs, we took on the task of listening to numerous testimonies of Colombians in exile who now live in Montreal. My ethnographic notes, taken during the choir rehearsals and the group encounters from July 2019 to December 2021, as well as the notes of my reflections during my 12 encounters with the Creating Large Group Dialogue in Organizations and Society (CLGDOS) group in the UK, from January 2019 to January 2021, are the basis of this account.
CLGDOS is a Study Program of Connected Residential Workshops in association with the Group Analytic Society International in London. It has offered me the opportunity to bring the potential of the large group to my work on the Nodo Quebec setting. The community of practice that I have been meeting with every two months since January 2019, has provided a gratifying place of support to work through the Community Choir. I am immensely grateful to each of the members of this group; to Kevin, Fiore, Regina, Fiona, Susan, Sally, Katy, Anna-Maija, Jutta, Sue, Bjärne, Kjersti, Francesca, Tim, Elizabeta, Sanja, Farideh, Tija, Dick, Bob, Kevin P., Mike, Teresa, Göran. Without their precious comments, insights, discernment, and acceptance, it would not have been possible to go through this process of awareness of my identity as a Colombian on my own.
Firstly, I contextualize the origins of the choir, by explaining the relation between the Nodo Quebec group and the Colombian Truth Commission (from this point forward, the Commission)[2] and describe the origins of the Choir. Secondly, I describe the three performative practices that were important markers of the evolution of the Choir as a group. Finally, I illustrate the musical, social and emotional dynamics that happen during the weekly rehearsals and share some reflections about the group process which, through singing as a group, facilitated being aware of one’s own voice, as well as the exploration of a collective identity as Colombians overseas.
The commission, the Nodo Quebec Group and The Choir
The Commission is one of the mechanisms of transitional justice created by the Government in 2016 to comply with the Peace Agreements signed with the FARC Guerrilla Group that ended more than 50 years of Armed Conflict in Colombia. The Commission is part of the Integral System for Justice, Truth, Reparation and Non-Repetition (JEP), created with the objective of clarifying facts and patterns of violence that occurred during the Armed Conflict. For this, the Commission has taken up the task of: (a) promoting public spaces on a national and international level dedicated to listening to the different voices of the conflict, including victims and offenders who participated whether directly or indirectly in the Armed Conflict, and (b) offering a broad explanation of the complexity of the conflict for all society after 3 years of work.
Nodo Quebec is a group of 19 volunteer men and women entrusted by the Commission with the task of taking testimonies from people affected by the Armed Conflict and who are exiled in the province of Quebec. The group consists of representatives of the victims of the Armed Conflict, indigenous and Afro-Colombian Women, University professors, Graduate and PhD Students, Political Activists, Community Leaders, Artists, Journalists, Writers, Psychologists, and a North American Historian with great knowledge about Colombia.
The Laboratory provides logistical support to the Node and, even before the pandemic, was the headquarters for meetings where the following took place: (a) reflections on the group process, (b) choir rehearsals, (c) interviews with exiled ‘victims’, and (d) various public events that aim to attract expatriates and friends of expatriates to build a community. From the moment that the crisis of Covid-19 began, the choir and the Nodo Quebec group have maintained their encounters through the Zoom platform.
Between the months of April and September of 2019, the members of Nodo Quebec received training to enable them to listen to ‘victims of the conflict’ forced to take the path of exile. They sought to provide an understanding of the psychosocial aspects necessary to facilitate the participation of ‘those who give testimony’, in a context of trust and dignity. The workshops contributed to strengthening our ability to accompany the participants in this process (interviewers and interviewees), as well as basic issues relating to the emotional care of the members of the voluntary team from the Commission.
Within this context, the Coro a La Escucha was constituted in a social space as a bridge between the objective of creating a community between Colombians and friends of Colombia who live in Montreal and the work to support the Commission. By singing as a group, we can listen to our own voices and to express the pain and hopelessness of many Colombians who have lived in exile for years.
The choir, a medium FOR listenING to voices of suffering and voices of hope
The idea of the Choir emerged at a meeting on Friday, July 5, 2019, when the group of Colombians who had already participated in the meeting with the team from the Commission from Bogotá (April 24, 2020, in Montreal), got together to think about concrete actions that we could give to the Peace Agreements: helping the Commission in the task of listening to the testimonies of the expatriates. Some of what was said during the first meeting reflected this common interest and led in turn to the formation of the Coro A la Escucha:
Teresa, prison therapist, with formal education in theology: “I did not believe in the Peace Agreement, but now I want to reconcile with my own history; Since I left Colombia 12 years ago, I have not returned. I believe that peace is possible and I want to help with my experience of listening to others.”
Jose, journalist, and student of the master’s degree program in Literature: “My interest for being in this group is personal and emotional, I come for a broader project than that of supporting the Commission: I come to build a community”.
Catherine, professor of Latin American History: “I am here because since 1974, my interest is Colombia; I did my PhD about that country; I direct thesis about its different issues, and now I want to contribute with the work of the Commission”.
Sarabeth, Chilean artist, “I am interested in generating community from my experience as an educator and through what I know how to do, workshops in community centers and art”.
Luis, director of the Acts of Listening Lab, says: “I am here not only to help the Commission. Quebec is our home, and I want us to build a long-term infrastructure to create a community and generate a space of solidarity.”
I remember that this meeting was especially productive, not only because of the action proposals that were generated, but also because a fluid, pleasant and amicable environment was created. This atmosphere allowed us to reflect on ourselves as a group of Colombians, and friends of Colombians, who voluntarily wanted to support the Peace Processes from abroad. Against all expectations, I observed that we put aside all barriers of mistrust and ‘suspicion towards others’, and adopted an unguarded attitude, growing together with the telling of stories, whether they were happy or sad; all this with the intention of creating the atmosphere necessary to commit to the task of receiving painful testimonies from other Colombians, who were either direct or indirect victims of the long-Armed Conflict.
There was a sort of implicit pact in this group, initially with 13 people with various different life trajectories, that started to emerge. We were united by a common interest: wanting to develop a sense of belonging and identity by singing songs reminding us of tales, rhythms and melodies that were part of our lives when we lived in Colombia. This would be the essence of the support we would give to the work of the Commission. This emerging group atmosphere made me think of Howard[3] and de Maré[4]. According to these authors:
Given time and work, a state called ‘Koinonia’ emerges; it is a recursive process, a dance that continues, forming and falling away into a constant circularity. In certain moments of possible coherence, new thinking emerges (from chaos to creation).
…the communion, companionship and interrelationship imply not a personal and individualist friendship but rather an impersonal one… …a democracy… a way of union and friendship which brings a serendipity of resources…
Three performative practices: important markers of the evolution of the Choir as a group
1. ‘Open Mic’
The improvisation dynamic called the open microphone – already illustrated in the introduction – consisted of an acoustic space that facilitated the “listening” and sharing of personal narratives related to the experience of exile and distance. The dynamics can be summarized as follows: (i) one or several songs from the choir’s repertoire are sung, while walking freely in a sufficiently large space without chairs; then, (ii) choir members (sometimes the spectators present) are invited to approach the open microphone installed in the middle of the room, in order to share aloud ideas, emotions or spontaneous messages that arise from the atmosphere of the meeting and are experienced as a pressing need to communicate; (iii) it is coordinated to lower the volume of the song in order to listen attentively to the voices of those who voluntarily express the ideas or emotions that the song arouses in them.
For the second time we put the “open microphone” into practice in February 2019. Likewise, further statements from the members of the choir when we re-evaluated the meaning of the ‘open mic’ on December 10 of 2019 highlight the meaning of the practice. The new culture established in the group had enabled new thoughts to be thought and voiced.
José mentions that he is very thankful for belonging to the group and the choir. He feels he is understood. The improvisation on December 10 was both important and symbolic for him. That day, he had invited his former partner, and the improvisation was for him like a rite of closure, in which he was able peacefully finish his emotional relationship after many years.
Elizabeth says that she has always been an activist. Her indigenous people have taught her that, through dancing, music and singing, it is possible to send messages. Cooking, dancing, braiding hair, all of this are ways in which in indigenous women have set paths, and learned through their day-to-day life. The choir has allowed her to reconcile with this city she didn’t know, and which is still under construction. Singing is a way to cry out to the world that she is Colombian, and that she is here; it is, for her, the sweet revenge of success.
The friend of Colombia, as well call Catherine in the choir, says that she is thankful that we have accepted her in the group and in the choir; “it is very nice having Colombia here in Montreal”.
The Coro A la Escucha became not only a means to overcome the barriers of mistrust which separate us as is usual with Colombians, but it was also a way to grow closer to other expatriates forced to leave Colombia in open suffering. Singing and listening as a group became a way to change our internal image of a country that has made us suffer and cry. Making music together became, every Tuesday night, an intermission which made it possible to live with a certain balance between, pain, nostalgia and suffering, and creativity, happiness, and beauty.
2. The practice of discussing the meaning of the lyrics
The first song we learned to sing was the Bambuco, Mi País (My country), by the composer Guillermo Calderón (see Figure 1). This song became the ‘hymn’ the Coro A la Escucha and during the initial period of confinement it became a virtual recording project, which allowed us to continue to give meaning to the task of listening to the testimonies from exiled Colombians and supporting the work of the Commission. The bambuco is a traditional music genre from the Colombian Andes region, inherited from quechua. Its name derives from wampuku, which means canoe drivers, which implies that it was the indigenous quechua canoe drivers in Colombia who invented the bambuco. When the Spaniards came, due to their lack of understanding, the pronunciation changed to wampuku and then to Bambuco. Why did this song become the theme and calling card of the Coro A la Escucha?
The deep connection we experienced as Colombians when we sang Mi País was facilitated by the richness of our different emotional reactions to the lyrics of this song. Two sets of emotions emerged; one considered as positive as in the first three verses of the song (happiness, life, hope, joy, strength, love, rebellion, resilience), and the other as negative (sadness, pain, fear, fatigue, exclusion, destruction, injustice) (see Figure 2). We agreed that singing Mi País was something that morally comforted all of us. We experienced a better mood that could oscillate between happiness and nostalgia, or alternatively, between hope and impotence at the same time.
Singing Mi País also led us to arguments resulting from the different emotional reactions we had to the lyrics of this song. These reactions seemed to be influenced by our past life trajectories and the different ways in which we were forced to live with the Colombian Armed Conflict (directly or indirectly, recently, or long ago). For instance, in one of the rehearsals in May 2020, we had a very lively discussion concerning the contradicting emotions awakened by two phrases in the song. Martin (the director of the Lab) and Rocio (the director of the choir) proposed that we carefully reflect on the meaning of two sentences in this song. They then suggested: Why not rewrite the lyrics and adapt them to our current reality?
The first one to share his reflections was Luis, who talked about the emotional ambivalence caused by the phrases “is the oil that boils between your veins” (el petróleo que hierve entre tus venas) (fourth phrase of the first verse) and “man’s sweat, woman’s waiting” (sudor de hombre, mujer que espera) (fifth phrase of the third verse). From Luis’s perspective, which was also shared by other members of the group, the word “oil” (petróleo) evocates the idea of the natural resource which is being exploited and results in so many social injustices in our country; and “man’s sweat, woman’s waiting” made him think about the ‘sexist’ idea that did not reflect reality in our current context. We do not accept that it is the man who is responsible for supporting the home, while the woman waits for her husband. It was suggested that we make them more compatible with the values and feelings that identified us with our current actions and positions.
In contrast, the other perspective to which other members of the choir adhered, defended respect for the original idea of the author and the concern for the context in which the song was written. The composer wrote this song being himself a victim of violence -Pilar added. Other group members stated that “oil” was also a resource associated with energy and economic growth, and that “woman’s waiting” represented also all those women who are still waiting to know the truth of what happened to their children or husbands in the war.
By listening to each other’s different perceptions and interpretations of the lyrics and by delving into each other’s history, we collectively experienced a form of communication that understands, tolerates, unites, and is projected through time. We also sang the adaptation Luis wrote of the verses which raised controversy, by following his creative prospect of interacting with the lyrics of the song to make it more personal. (See Figure 3).
3. Virtual recording of Para la Guerra nada (For war, nothing): Of how disillusion gives way to creation
We recorded the song Para la Guerra Nada together with the well-known Colombian Singer, Marta Gomez, the Philharmonic Orchestra of Medellin, and from Medellin, the Choir Reconciliacion whose members were former “combatants” from the various sides of the conflict (guerrilla, paramilitaries, and solders of the Colombian Army). The lyrics of the song produce in the group a deep feeling of opposition to any manifestation of violence.
This song also constitutes a reaffirmation of and support for the peace and reconciliation processes in the post-conflict. The verses of the stanzas 3 and 4 (figure 4) composed by both choirs also show the result of the dynamic that became a spontaneous practice: writing lyrics that communicate values and attitudes that connect more coherently to the realities experienced by the choir members in their current contexts.
This virtual recording brought to light the group process lived during 8 months of weekly rehearsals in which the confinement played an important role. We were forced to rethink ways of functioning to complete the commitment with the tasks of the Commission: the collection of 24 interviews with the volunteers who wanted to give their testimony. The virtual recording was also a solitary task. Recording this song alone made us realize what we had created: a “therapeutic space, close to the language of art, a place to give form to spontaneous political projects”. The koinonic spirit was still present and, taking advantage of the new situation of uncertainty resulting from the pandemic.
There is no doubt that the Director of the choir and the facilitator of the group was a key figure in the work of making music in a very diverse group of Colombians. The audacious and varied selection in the repertoire of songs (joropo, bambuco, Christmas carols, cumbia, music with a social message), the clarity and conviction with which Pilar encouraged us to respect the rules of the group (punctuality, fulfilling of individual tasks, maintenance and care of the space, consideration for the folder of sheet music, frankness in feedback), as well as her way of exercising her roles as a ‘director’ and ‘facilitator of the group process’, produced in me great admiration and respect.
My identification with her role as facilitator of the group was almost immediate. Letting myself be influenced by her way of leading us became the greatest source of learning: (a) her simultaneous flexibility and firmness, (b) her generosity and dedication (spending extra time with those of us who had difficulties finding our higher voice), or (c) her smart and ambitious planning of the repertoire, would lead us to a more demanding realization, both individually and collectively: the virtual and individual recording of Mi País. This young musical virtuoso (20 years younger than me) gave me great lessons in: Accepting my voice as it is to sing, and then getting ready with humbleness to listen to the voices of others to fit in. To further illustrate this, here she sent us prior to the virtual recording:
I know that for many of you, recording like this has presented a great challenge, and as I did during the rehearsal, I invite you to face this challenge to overcome the fears and insecurities of you can feel when singing by yourselves, to value the talent you have and to allow yourselves to offer some of your voice. I know that the current work becomes much more individual, and we do not have the support of the group, but this is an opportunity for individual work. I believe we could give a very special message with this project.
Final reflections
So far, I have the impression of only having described the first level of my experience. In this final part, I aim to approach the beginning of an answer to the question I proposed at the start of this work: What is the nature or essence of my experience as a participant of the Coro A la Escucha? Then, I will try to integrate the last two reflections of this account: (i) the evolution of the structure within the group (leadership, roles, rules), and (ii) the unexpected meanings of the choir space within the framework of the work of the Commission.
The unexpected meanings generated within the choir space and in the framework of the work of the Commission for Truth.
The virtual and individual recording allowed me to understand even more the term ‘interactive synchronicity’, proposed by Pavlicevic[5]. This term describes our amazing capabilities to make micro-adjustments in gestures and actions when relating to others. Making music as a group, we learned how to listen and adapt the way we sang (baritones, tenors, contralto, sopranos) to ‘fit together’. This ability for a harmonic and consistent response made us more fluid, receptive and capable of empathizing with the people we were simultaneously listening to, during the touching testimonies of the Commission. Singing as a group was so much more than making music. It was a way of experiencing group music as something related with the creation and maintenance of human relations, with all its complications and frustrations. Through a musical event (or in preparation to sing a song), we implemented in the Choir this principle of “interactive synchronicity”, which produced musical, relational, and emotional meanings to the immensely powerful act of being together through music.
In this experience, the Acts of Listening Lab where the Choir rehearsals took place before the pandemic, significantly contributed towards the creation of “vital affections”, or those qualities which can explain the energy and movement happening in music rehearsals (a feeling of expectation and excited whispers). The physical characteristics of the laboratory helped create a warm and enveloping atmosphere, underscoring the importance of the social experience of relationships. As a group, we took over that space where various forms of music, interaction and emotions came to life. That broad space, with high walls painted with dark colors, with lights, cameras and sophisticated recording equipment made us live, act and express ourselves every Tuesday night as true artists who offered a unifying environment to a real or imaginary audience.
Summing up, the Coro A la Escucha generated musical, social and emotional consequences which were unexpected for those of us who participated in it. Singing as a Group led to singing for listening, in other words, a form of dialogue beyond words. As Colombians mistrusting other Colombians learned to develop the resource of singing that everybody has, then, to allow meaningful exchanges related to our past and present experiences of the land we dream of, and finally, to engage in large-scale tasks such as listening to the voices of the exiles residing in Quebec. Singing songs collectively allowed us to recreate an environment where music (Colombian songs) and the environment (Acts of listening Lab) became the Colombia abroad, the land we had built, and which became essential for each of the members of the Choir.
Conclusion
This paper is based on my ethnographical notes, taken during the choir rehearsals as well as the notes of my reflections with my group in Roffey Park in the UK. To the question I proposed: What is the nature or essence of my experience as a participant of the Coro A la Escucha throughout the 12 months of its existence? I can say that the experience of singing as part of that choir group became a way of changing my internal image of the country that makes me suffer and cry. Making music as a group became an intermission in that, which made it possible to experience a sort of balance between suffering and nostalgia, and creativity, hope and beauty.
I have only described a first level of my experience as an observer and member of the Choir. More research is required in order to delve into the various issues that arose during this experience and to strengthen its scope. For instance, exploring the meaning of the physical space (Acts of listening Lab) in the dynamics of social, musical and emotional relations; examining with greater care the meaning of constructing a Colombia abroad; analyzing what conditions, other than singing in group, help one express the silence carried inside. I would like to delve into the idea of group singing as a transitional space which enables the transformation from suffering into creativity. I cannot finish this story without thanking my fellow adventurers, fun and learning partners with whom we also learned to sing by listening to each other carefully.
Bibliography
de Maré, P., Piper, R. & Thompson, S. (1991). Koinonia: From Hate through Dialogue to Culture in the Large Group. Karnac: London
Foulkes, E.H. & Anthony, E.J (1990). The Phenomenology of The Group Situation. En Group Psychoterapy. The Psychoanalytic Approach. Second Edition. Karnac Classics: London.
Pavlicevic, Mercedes (2003). Groups in Music. Strategies from Music Therapy. Jessica Kingsley Publishers. London. ISBN 184310 081 9.
von Sommaruga Howard, T., (2015) ‘Conducting Large Groups: Making Sense of being a Stranger in a Foreign Land’ ATA: Journal of Psychotherapy Aotearoa New Zealand Vol. 19, 2015.
von Sommaruga Howard, T. (2018), An Architect’s View of the Larger Group. GASI Autumn Workshop Large Groups: Contemporary Challenges
[1]This Laboratory gathers a community of researchers who research listening as a live act in the context of acting, informed by oral history for social changes, textual theater, documental dancing, music, acting, sound art, activist acting and public history. It has a team specialized in the recording, transmission and editing of high-quality audio and video.
[2]https://comisiondelaverdad.co/la-comision/que-es-la-comision-de-la-verdad
[3] von Sommaruga Howard, T. (2018), An Architect’s View of the Larger Group. GASI Autumn Workshop Large Groups: Contemporary Challenges
[4] de Maré, P., Piper, R. & Thompson, S. (1991). Koinonia: From Hate through Dialogue to Culture in the Large Group. Karnac: London
[5]Pavlicevic, Mercedes (2003). Groups in Music. Strategies from Music Therapy. pp 185.
Amparo Jimenez
Amparo has a Ph. D in Management and Strategy from the University of Québec in Montreal (UQAM) and is an associate professor at the School of Management of the same University since 2002. She has a Master in Clinic Psychology (University of Los Andes in Colombia) and is a Psychologist (Javeriana University in Colombia). She is currently completing a training in Creating Large Group Dialogue in Organizations and Society in association with the Group Analytic Society International in London.
Jimenez.amparo@uqam.ca